Journal Entry - Usagi
by Redd Summers
Summary: Journal Entry based on the character Tsukino Usagi


**Title: Journal Entry - Usagi  
  
**

**Author: Redd Summers (ReddSummers@yahoo.com)  
  
****Rating: G  
  
****Summary: Excerpt from the personal journal of Usagi Tsukino.  **

  
**Spoilers: Basically, all of season 1.  You've been warned.  
  
****Feedback: Constructive. I welcome comments as well as criticism, don't be shy, just don't be rough. Let's keep it all hugs and puppies.  
  
****Distribution: Want? ASK. Take. Have. I don't mind this being reposted somewhere else, but I do want to know where it's at. And I **must** be properly credited.  
  
****Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all related characters are copyrighted under Naoko Takeuchi, Nakayoshi, and all related subsidiaries.    
  
**

**Author Notes: We all keep a diary or a journal so we can remember all the major events that happen in our lives, ne?  Well, as we all know, the characters of Sailor Moon go through all kinds of major events and, well, this is what could be found in their secret journals.  One that no one else would ever read.  Full of personal information from that character.**

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Ok... I know I am a klutz at times, not to mention clumsy, and if I can't admit I'm always the first person to get obsessed with any current project I and my friends are in... Then I'd be lying to myself.  I know I whine a lot about trivial things like getting bad grades on my school tests...but why do I have to suffer like this?  I used to think that being someone like the ever-popular Sailor V (which now stands for Sailor Venus) would make my life exiting and enjoyable.  Boy was I wrong!  I used to be Tsukino Usagi...now I'm known as Sailor Moon (I thought about the name and for a split second...I wanted to be like Sailor V, with a code name instead of a name.  But soon, I decided that I just didn't like Sailor M).  I was looking forward to the adventures I and my guardian cat, Luna, would have.  I even made friends with some other girls who had the same power I had and helped me in the fights we had to do against the evil invading our planet!  But I don't think I like it much...not after I found out a lot of things I didn't want to know.

Not only am I Usagi AND Sailor Moon, it turns out I'm this Moon Princess!  And the guy I thought I hated most in the entire world turns out to be not only the mysterious Tuxedo Kamen (always saving me when I was in trouble), but also my lover from the past...when I was a princess!  His name then was Prince Endymion, now it's Chiba Mamoru.  I got back my lost memories, but at the expense of his life.  I still can't believe what happened...it seems like a horrible dream still...but I know it isn't because I experienced all of it.  The day started like any other, but I knew something was wrong when Mamoru-san was actually KIND to me and didn't call me any names.  Being not-so-nice, I smacked him across his back (even though I knew he was in some pain) and he just smiled at me.  I still feel bad about that...anyway, I noticed blood on my hand from where I hit him and followed him to make sure he was going to be OK.  We were both kidnapped and taken to Tokyo Tower.  I though it was me that evil guy, Zoicite, was after.  We were in an elevator and we started talking.  He told me about this princess he dreamed of (to tell the truth, I was a little jealous.  But then came the surprise that I was the princess of his dreams!) and that he had to find a way to bring her back to him.

Zoicite must've used his powers...because the next thing I knew, there were fire rings headed our way!  Mamoru-san was injured, so I intended to protect him.  I had no choice... I transformed into Sailor Moon in front of him and deflected the flames.  I also got us to the place where Zoicite was hiding and intended to fight when Zoicite said he didn't want me... but Tuxedo Kamen!  I didn't understand until Mamoru-san transformed into the dashing Tuxedo Kamen!  I was in shock!  He challenged Zoicite to a fight because he wanted to return the favor of me rescuing him earlier.  But Zoicite tricked us... he made an ice crystal that we didn't see until it was too late.  Tuxedo Kamen sacrificed himself to protect me.  I then found out that with all the adventure and fun of being a heroine...it comes at a price.  No one ever protected me like he did.  He pretended that he was going to be all right...but I could see the life fading from those stormy eyes of his.  It's a look I never want to see again.  I was so angry; I could feel it surging in my veins.  I wasn't going to let him die without sending someone with him.

I wasn't thinking of anything or anyone but Mamoru-san at that point.  A single tear fell from my eye...which transformed me into my princess form.  Zoicite tried attacking us, but I just used my powers on Zoicite and he was weakened dramatically.  I knocked him up against a wall... falling to the ground unconscious, where he stayed.  But the damage was already done...I never realized how much I needed... and cared... for Mamoru-san until he was lying in my arms dying.  He tried to make me feel better, by telling me not to worry about him and other things.  But I was dying, myself, inside.  Suddenly I was overwhelmed by memories of our long lost past.  Mamoru-san had also transformed into his prince form with the return of his memories as well.  I can't forget his last words... He told me that, even though he was dying, he was glad to see that he had set me free.  With that, he became still with death.  I didn't want to let him go... I just got back my love for him, and now he was leaving me!!  I passed out from all the energy I used to fight and with this newfound stress.  I think a part of me still wishes I could have died with him... God knows I want to be with him again...

Well... I guess that's about it.  A man from the Dark Kingdom came for Zoicite and also took Mamoru-san's body.  I couldn't even say goodbye to him!  Lately, things have changed.  My friends let me have some time to myself, but are still there for me, Luna isn't as hard on me as she usually is; even mom (who doesn't know a thing about me being Sailor Moon or the Moon Princess) has lightened up on me when I bring home bad grades!  I think she senses what I'm going through, but I don't think she knows for sure.  When Naru-chan, my best friend, went through something similar with another of the Dark Kingdom's Kings (Nephrite...he turned to the good side for Naru-chan, but was killed by Zoicite, as well) I was there to comfort her.  She knows I'm extremely upset over something... but I don't know what to tell her.  She still offers to listen if I just need to talk.  She's a great friend...

I guess I'll have to wait and see what the future brings.  But I think the thing I miss the most about Mamoru-san, is the fact I had so much time with him...but never did anything about it.  When it came time for our love once more...it was immediately cut short!  I even miss him calling me names like "Odongo Atama" when I run into him on the street.  I'd give just about anything to have him back with me... I hope the future is promising... Who knows?  I might just fall in love again. But for now, I'm searching for a way to end this pain of mine.

End Journal Entry

Tsukino Usagi


End file.
